


Dark Thoughts

by spoongobrrr



Category: K (Anime)
Genre: Self-Harm, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:47:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29050134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spoongobrrr/pseuds/spoongobrrr
Summary: Yashiro has been struggling a lot with his dark thoughts. Suicide is constantly going through his mind, and it will never leave him alone.





	Dark Thoughts

Racing. Constant racing. His mind was screaming, and yet, everything was so quiet. Yashiro grabbed his head and silently screamed. He wanted to scream, and scream, but he couldn’t bother anyone. That would be too much for anyone to handle, and god knows he just wasn’t worth it. “It’s okay,” he muttered, “I’ll be okay. Everything will be fine. It has to be.” He slowly let go of his pounding head and looked around. The world was so dark; there was nothing there. As Yashiro stood up, a small voice started to make a fuss. “Do it. There’s nothing worth living for. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it-” Yashiro covered his ears and began to yell. “Leave, leave me alone!”   
Shakily, he ran over to the counter. Coldwater, he thought, just a little bit of water, and I’ll be okay. Just a little more, and I’ll be okay. He splashed water on his face, in hopes of calming the voices down, but it didn’t help. They just kept getting louder, and louder, and louder. “Do it,” they kept muttering. Yashiro banged his head on the counter, but they just got louder. Tears started to stream down his face and soon, racking sobs filled the air.   
“I can’t do this, not anymore. I can’t,” he cried, hoping, praying, someone might hear him. The air was silent; no one was coming. No one could help him. There was nothing anyone could do. It was about time. A thin grimace formed on Yashiro’s face as the solution came to him. Slowly, he walked over to his door and swung it open. He took a deep breath in and took a step outside.   
When he came to his senses, he was on the roof. The grimace came back as he realized the only thing he could do. He had to end this. Everyone always said it would get better, but it never did. Every day was just worst than the last, no matter the events. The pain was unbearable and somehow, people wanted him to push. He began to laugh. His laugh got louder and louder until he started to choke for air. Of course! Those people could never know anything. They could never know anything about me. They couldn’t have a say in any of my actions. His mind began to slow as he crept to the edge. It was a long drop to the bottom, but the pain would finally be over. He wouldn’t have to deal with this anymore.  
Looking down, he felt his muscles and mind relax. He closed his eyes and took a step forward. “Stop! Please, don’t!” A voice cried. Yashiro slowly turned around and his eyes met with Neko’s. Her eyes were filled with tears, and her body was shaking. “Yashiro… what… are you doing?” She whispered, as not to startle him.   
“What’s it look like Neko? It should be blatantly obvious. I can’t do this anymore,” Yashiro smiled, but his eyes didn’t reflect that.   
“You can’t do what…? Yashiro?”  
“This pain. This pounding; it’s all too much for me. It doesn’t matter what I take, what I do, who I talk to; nothing matters. It always gets worse. The voices, the voices just won’t leave me alone. This pain, it’s too much for me, Neko. I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough,” Yashiro turned back around and looked at the long drop in front of him.   
Neko was silent. She knew there was nothing she could do for him. Wracking sobs came from her direction as she ran to go get help. Yashiro faintly smiled and took a step forward. Finally, he thought, this hell will be over.

**Author's Note:**

> This was just more a vent than anything. If you actually read this, thank you so much. I really appreciate it and I hopefully didn't trigger you at all.


End file.
